Someplace Else

Did you ever just need someplace to go? 

It didn’t have to be far, it just had to be away from your problems and your everyday life. Away from the pressures and the stress which life is so very generous in dishing out. It had to be a place where fun was the only thing on the agenda. A place where you know most everyone and they know you.   

I know such a place. And it’s free. That’s right, free. It cost nothing to get there and nothing to stay. You don’t need reservations and there’s no check out time. I’ve been there many times myself, and I’ve seen it work it’s magic on even the most forlorn. People who have just lost their lobs, been through a divorce, broken off a hot and heavy romance, had their car stolen, just released from jail or just simply a little depressed and in need of some company. Yes, I’ve watched them come and go from this place by the hundreds over the years and can’t recall even once when a smile didn’t cross their face at least once while they were here.  

The sun is usually shining here but if you want to be sure before you come they offer free weather reports. All you need do is call. And for those who are simply looking for someplace to unload and someone to unload on, they offer free group therapy with no shortage of opinions. Now you may not agree with or even like the opinions but as I said, they’re free, and will definitely give you cause to pause and think.
   
Among other services offered here are an excellent exercise program, gaming tables, swimming in the world’s largest pool, barbecues (on occasion), debating teams, tanning salon, and phone answering services just to name a few. And believe it or not these are all free as well.   

You may be thinking by now that a place like this is too good to be true and at the same time wondering how you can get there as soon as possible. Well, I assure you, it does exist and most everyone is welcome. There are however a few conditions that will help you to better enjoy your stay. First of all you must be virtually immune to criticism. You must have an opinion on everything under the sun. They prefer honesty but will tolerate small character flaws such as if you should cheat at games now and then. And speaking of character, it definitely helps if you are one. Being a master of the ‘verbal comeback is a most desirable trait. But most of all you must not only be addicted to but love our game.   

Now I can’t give you directions to get there, nor can I tell you where it is. But I think you’ll find it anyway. Just follow your instincts.

I have to go now: I've got "next" but we'll talk again.